what i feel,

That is what i really need.. a breath of fresh air. I can just imagine, eyes closed and a deep breath in embracing the suns warmth and the sweet scent of nature as i stand on a hill overlooking a meadow filled with lush green grass; and mostly, the feeling i feel inside where it feels like everything is going to be okay and I'm at peace with myself, and the feeling of victory over this spiritual battle I'm facing..

But i can only dream. Where can i find a hill so big to look over the meadow, unless its Hollywood, how can i be at peace with myself when I am the one constantly stirring up frustration for myself, and this spiritual battle.. how can i have victory is Christ Jesus is not with me..

I need to change, i want to desperately change because it kills me inside, just everything kills me.
I want the hurting gone, and the pain to subside ..

I want everything to be His way,